Dead is Dead
by breeshell
Summary: Another spark in his fingers. He knows this face. He saw it in the mirrors.
1. 1

Lydia holds onto his arm as they walk around the grounds. Families have come, fathers mothers and children. Little girls eat sticky cotton candy, teenage boys play games involving balls and pins to impress their girlfriends. It's hot out, wind kicks up the dirt under their they walk his heart pounds, then flutters. There's someone here that he knows. He doesn't know where and he doesn't quite know who yet, but he feels it. He scans the crowd.

"Is there something wrong?" Lydia asks, coyly while stroking his arm.

He shakes his head. "No. Just, a strange feeling." She stops and touches the sides of his face. His skin flushes under her finger tips, her whole body vibrates with the emotion that's pouring from him, under his skin. Without memories she doesn't see much, it's a haze, there are figures.

Lydia swallows. There iis/i someone here. She looks around; Edgar stands by the show tent with his knives. "I'll take a look at the crystal later. I've got a show, okay?" she gives him a kiss on the cheek, walks away.

His heart pounds again as he scans the walks again, going towards the rides, around back to the petting zoo. Hard thumping comes from his chest again and he's suddenly on it's another cop, someone here to take him down, someone with vengeance for the office that Edgar killed. He moves to sit on a fence, get a better view of the crowd.

People pass him and think nothing of him. Some women smile at him, bat their eyelashes. And then across the masses, he spots the person. The one that he's felt. His skin suddenly crackles, sparks come from his fingers. He keeps them together in a fist, shocking himself. The burns heal quickly, he continues to spark.

A blonde woman pushes a stroller. She stops to buy feed out of a dispenser, twenty-five cents a pop for a handful. She keeps most of it in her palm, then bends down. Gabriel lifts up slightly, trying to get a better look.

The woman lifts a child, a little boy, almost two, on hoists him on her hip. She hands him a little bit of the feed and leans on the fence. The little boy giggles as a pony nibbles food out. The wind picks up, blowing the hair. She pushes it behind her ear. It's fine, soft like feathers.

Another spark in his fingers. He knows this face. He saw it in the mirrors. He hovered over her, blood on his hands as he sliced through her skull, red seeping into the musty tendrils of yellow. She's supposed to be dead.

***

The sun is bright and sweat drips down her back, but Elle promised her son they'd go to the carnival. Sure he doesn't quite understand what it is, but every five minutes it seemed there was a commercial for it and he pointed to the screen yelling 'horfies!' So here she is at the traveling Carnival where there is normally an empty field.

She's not having a lot of fun, some, but not a lot. The dust makes her cough, the loud noises make her in the day she passes by a tall woman with tattoos over her body. "Care to hear your fortune?" the woman asks, holding a large crystal in her hands.

"No thank you," Elle says. She keeps walking, pushing the stroller faster. She doesn't want to know anymore, knowing the past is enough. Suddenly she feels sick, there is a shock in the air, they pass a group of balloons that all pop in an instant. She gasps, Noah cries.

"Oh, sweetie." She goes through the bag in the basket of the stroller, gets out his favorite toy, a stuffed kitty. He stops crying. "There we go." She wipes his tears away, he smiles. All ready he has his father's smile and she shudders. "You want to see the horsies now?" Before all this talking like a child would've made her sick. But now she smiles.

"Horfies!" he giggles.

"All right, buddy." She makes her way down, following wooden signs. She throws a last glance back at someone cleaning up the broken balloons.

***

Gabriel hops off the fence, decides to follow her. He'll keep back, make sure she doesn't see. Maybe he's mistaken, there are millions of thin blond women in the world and dead is dead.

She doesn't notice him, not right away. He stands near the fence, leaning over. Another pony comes up, nuzzles him against the shoulder. He suddenly becomes so aware of the pony's presence. He can hear it's heart beating.

"Mama, Mama look!" the little boy bounces. "More!"

Gabriel stops moving and watches the blonde woman turn. She sees him and there's crackling in the air. Color drains from her face. The static pops, the pony backs from the fence.

Elle's throat dries. She has to be dreaming. This is fake, this is a side effect of something. She's hit her head. Sylar stands in front of her, plain as day. He looks different, scruffy, longer hair, but she knows its him. How did he find her?

She holds onto Noah to her chest. She doesn't want to scare him. She prays that Sylar won't make a scene, that he doesn't want to be caught. She starts to back away.

"Mama," Noah says and kicks. "Mama, horfies."

"In a little bit sweetie," she whispers into his sandy-colored hair. They are a foot a part now.

He knows what he's done, he's seen it and there is sinking in his gut that he knows he did.

Tears weld in her eyes. "I'm going to walk away now." Her voice quivers, like on a string. "I'm going to walk and enjoy the rest of the day with my son. Don't you come after us. Do you understand me?"

He takes a step forward, she steps back. "I mean it." She holds Noah tighter. "Stay away." She turns and disappears into the crowd.


	2. 2

Two years ago she woke up in a hotel room. Scratchy sheets, dim lighting, the smell of smoke and gin in the curtains. She looked around, took deep breaths. The last thing she remembered was sand in her hair, the sound of the ocean, smell of fire and gasoline in the air. She sat up; no pain like she expected. She checked her arms, felt her face for scorch marks, made sure that her hair was all still there.

She's still covered in blood, though it was dried, cakey and brown. She's wearing a different shirt, something heavy and long, pants too, but her feet were bare. Outside it's bright, probably morning, light creeps through the crack in the drapes. She stands, and stands without pain. She reaches down, finding the spot that she'd been shot at has gone away, not a trace or mark.

The door began to jingle, someone messing with keys. She holds lightening in her palm and waits. When the door opens she puts the hand down. Bennet comes in with to cups of coffee. Elle swallows, steps back. "What are you doing here?" she asks.

"I could ask you the same thing," he says. He puts one cup down and then offers her one. Gingerly she accepts, taking a sip. "We found you on the beach this morning."

"Who's 'we'?"

He doesn't answer her, just drinks his own. "I'm giving you a sum of money, from the company. They want you to disappear."

She laughs. "You're kidding me right?"

He pulls out a wad of cash, drops it on the bed. "Go anywhere you like. You've got a new name too. They want you to be invisible."

Her eyes go from the money back up to him. Who told him where she was? Why did he come and get her? She thinks. She could kill him right now, take whatever she wanted, but she knew, she can't do that anymore. "Where am I supposed to go?"

"I hear Maryland's nice," He says almost with a smile.

He's given her some of Claire's clothes a duffel bag. He'll take her to the bus station, get her ticket. "Why are you doing this for me?" she asks on the car ride over. She doesn't look at him the entire time.

"We all make mistakes, Elle."

Suddenly she had the need to touch her forehead. When she does, she finds it smooth, no cut, no pain. "He killed me," she says, a lump in her throat, tears in her eyes.

Bennett stops the car.

"Why did you bring me back?" she asks.

"We didn't. You were just like this when we found you."

She scrunches her face, shakes her head. "No. How is that possible?"

"I don't know," he admits, "Isn't this what you wanted? What you were harping on about?"

She finds herself crying now. She makes sure to be looking out the window, staring at shiny cars. "But I don't have anyone now." The person she thought she maybe loved left her for dead in the sand. Bennet puts an arm on her shoulder. She gasps. "Don't," she tells him. "Just, let's get this over with okay?"

He buys her a tick for Georgia, it leaves in an hour. He gives her a cell phone, her new ID. Mary Ann Moffit Plain, easy to blend in. "Call June in human resources they'll set up with a job, place to live.

She still doesn't believe it. This is a trick, someone will come and get her, she'll be living behind concrete again. "Then you're done, do you understand?"

She nods. "Thank you," she says before boarding.

***

Noah finally stops fussing about the horses when Elle finds the carousel. Plastic horfies are just as good as the real thing. She stands next to him and makes sure he won't fall. He's just over the moon and she smiles.

Every rotation she checks for Sylar, he's not there when it stops. She takes Noah back to the zoo, he's not there either. She buys more food, they pet goats and feed chickens.

***

He really doesn't remember anything about her, just what he saw in the mirrors, the hum of her electricity. That's where the power came from, but he didn't kill her to get it, so why did he slice her head open?

He lies on his back in the trailer he's been sharing with Lydia. She has wind chimes hanging from the ceiling, crystals of different sizes on shelves. The door is open, the screen closed; he hears the commotion, feels the blonde in the air, he doesn't even know her name and yet his skin crackles at the thought of her.

Suddenly Lydia comes in, shuts the door locking it. He sits up, propping himself up on his elbows. She grins at him, coy, like a secret. She undoes her halter top, letting it hand down around his waist. She crawls onto the bed, over his hips. When he kisses her, she feels the familiar tingling of shifting ink on her skin. The face of a woman forms, a woman with stone eyes. It's in his fingertips.

Afterward she sleeps and he sits on the stairs outside.


	3. 3

"We've got a little problem," Lydia says to Samuel that night. He's cooking dinner, the sun is still out. He looks up at her over his sunglasses.

"And what may that be?"

"You're dust is kicking up."

She hands him the ink stick and walks to a tent, takes her seat and undoes her top for him. "Go ahead," she says. Samuel presses the point to her shoulder, the ink moves through her veins as easily as the blood; it's warm but cold at the same time. She feels the actually the color difference, between the red and the black. It moves around on her back and she focuses on that sensation from Gabriel. The image surfaces again, the woman with the stone, eyes.

Samuel removes his sunglasses, sits down next to her. "You know this woman?"

"He does." She nods towards Gabriel at the ball toss across the way. "He saw her today, someone from his past. She's one of us."

A grin cracks along his face. "Maybe we should extend an invitation then."

Lydia snaps forward. "You don't think that's a bad idea, someone he knows? It could ruin your plan."

"Tell me more about her." He puts the bottle of ink and pen away, props his feet up.

She sits back down, closes her eyes, and focuses. She pushes pass Gabriel's feelings. The woman isn't hard to locate, images flash through her head like a film. Quick and shoddy like an old projector. So much hate, anger, then happiness, fear. "Her name is Elle. Though she doesn't go by that name anymore. She has a son. A boy with great power."

The grin grows wider, he shows his teeth. "How does our Gabriel now this lady?"

A shudder moves down Lydia's spine and the ink fades. "He killed her. Two years ago." She ties up her shirt again, stands.

"And the boy?"

"It's his son. That's all I know."

"She could be what we're looking for."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Thank you Lydia. Now, go keep him company."

She purses her lips and nods, walks across the way to hold onto Gabriel's arm again. "What are you thinking?" she asks.

He shakes his head. He's been looking for the blonde all afternoon.

***

She worked a crummy little video store two blocks down from a small apartment. She stood at the register and smiled politely, checked out movies and worked the cash register. Men flirt with her and she ignores it. She doesn't electrocute anyone, she doesn't shock the tapes or DVDs like she swears she'll do. She hardly ever uses her powers. She does what she's always done, follow Company orders.

Her plan was not to make friends, just earn her measly paycheck, go to an apartment with cable and sleep in on the weekends. But she's been working afternoon shift with the same girl for two months now. Zelda has curly hair that's been died purple and black, wears nose rings and has tattoos. They end up eating lunch together in the back room. Elle is amazed; she's never had a friend before, never sat across from someone exchanging stories about the day, about costumer they hate. Zelda is adopted, Elle explains that her parents are dead.

"Bummer," Zelda says taking a sip of soda. It's another two weeks when Zelda is talking about her 'dumbass boyfriend' that she asks Elle. "You got a guy, Mary Ann?"

Elle freezes, feels a shock around her knees. "No. No for a little while. It didn't work out."

They went out to the counter. "What happened?" Zelda asks. "He run out on you or something?"

"Something like that."

It's three more weeks when Elle starts throwing up and Zelda buys her a pregnancy test and makes her take it while at work. She forces Mary Ann into a stall and leans against the door. "I m not leaving until you pee on that fricken stick." She files her nails.

"This stupid," Elle grumbles. Electricity moves over skin, shocking her when she touches the toilet paper roll. She bites her lips, does as Zelda demands. "All right I'm done." Elle kicks the door, brings the electricity back inside of her as Zelda moves. She left the test on the back of the toilet.

Three minutes pass, Elle can't look at it. "Well you just can't not look at it." It's positive. "Sorry Sweetie." Zelda says.

Elle cries. She wants to kill herself. It was official, carrying a child of the man that killed her. Wouldn't it be easier just to be dead?

***

Gabriel likes Lydia. He truly does. She's beautiful, kind. He loves her tattoos, that decorated skin. He traces them while she kisses down his neck, he plays with her hair while her hands play with his belt. She makes him feel safe in his emptiness. She's warm, wants to hear how his day has been going. He has a feeling that he hasn't had that before, at least not for a very long time. He likes the way she holds onto his arm when they walk, despite the looks he receives from Edgar, sharpening his knives. He's not afraid of Edgar.

She leaves him to go do readings, people always want their readings after dinner, when the night was just touching the ground of day. Maybe it's the spooky feel, or it makes them think of something mysterious and yet safe. She kisses him, always kisses him on the cheek before going to her tent. Samuel approaches.

"Lydia tells me you had a visitor."

Gabriel shakes his head. "I killed her," he says. "I killed her on a beach, and she's some how walking around. How does that work out?" his voice snaps. All day he'd been thinking of her, trying to remember anything about her, anything besides hovering over her at the beach, the way her voice sounded when he cut. But it was all blank, like walking down an empty street covered in fog. it was just out of reach, something just barely touching his finger tips.

"Come with me," Samuel tells and puts an arm around Gabriel's shoulder. They walk around until Samuel spots her. A friend is with her now and pushes the stroller while she holds the baby who is sticky with cotton candy on her face. "She's got a little boy with her. No father."

"She's going to run if she sees me."

"She won't," he continues. "A little boy with great powers. Don't you think maybe he deserves a safe place to grow up?" Maybe if he just pushes a little harder.

Gabriel wants to say no, but Samuel is in charge. "You want me to do it?"

Samuel shakes his head. "Of course not. I'll extend the invitation. You be ready. I've got a feelin' you two have something to work out."


	4. C4

Elle doesn't go to work for three days. She stays in her apartment, staying in bed. Anytime she thinks she might be hungry, she throws up instead. She's been having random shocks, shorting out her microwave and DVD player. It's just as well she thinks. It twists inside of her, growing. He's still making her suffer. She wants to get rid of it.

On the forth day, Zelda shows up and doesn't stop knocking until Mary Ann comes to the door and answers. "Jesus, doll, you look like shit." In this state of mind, Elle would've shocked her, but Mary Ann shrugs and lets her friend in. Zelda sits on the couch, plays with a glass knick knack from the table. "You decided what you wanted to do yet?"

Elle paces, chews on her fingernail and shrugs. "You could give it up, I mean it's not so bad."

She thinks a moment. Maybe if it was someone else's. She thinks of what she could be unleashing on some unsuspecting family. Open skulls and blood. She shakes her head. She wouldn't be responsible again.

Zelda lets out a hot breath. "Well how about we go down to the clinic and just confirm it. I mean those tests are known to be wrong. There's no harm."

"I guess."

Her stomach cramps again and she runs to throw up. She cries while she does it. Afterwards she pulls herself up to the sink, her fingers slightly slipping on the edge of the porcelain. She rinses her mouth out, takes deep heaving breaths. In the mirror an unfamiliar face stares back. Pale, eyes a dark shade of blue. A thin layer of electricity skims over her skin. ihow could you be so stupid/i? the other person says.

***

He's discovered a few new powers have surfaced. He can tell when people are lying, his body tingles, shudders. He can change his face, but only after he's touched someone. After the blonde had told him to stay away, he decides to use this, just for a minute, just to get close to her, maybe feel that spark.

He picks a person a random, someone who's younger than him with black hair. He works at the Ferris wheel, waits. Eventually the blonde comes around, the stroller folded and being dragged by a friend. The blonde carries the little boy who's face is still sticky with cotton candy. Wildly he starts jumping and pointed.

"You wanna ride the wheel?" the friend asks.

"I don't know," the blonde says, looking it over. The bright lights, the ringing bells.

"Mama, mama, high!" he chants.

"I'll take him, Mary."

They approach; they're the only ones who want on next. "Ladies care for a ride?" Gabriel says.

Zelda takes Noah from Mary Ann and moves forward. "Just us two, Mary's afraid of heights."

Mary, and yet somehow Gabriel knows that's wrong. Mary sighs. "I'm not afraid, I just..."

"High, high!" Noah kicks even more. Zelda and Noah get on, Gabriel fastens them in, and starts the wheel. Mary watches carefully.

"Don't worry," Gabriel tells her as the wheel goes up. "I'll make sure not to run it too fast."

Mary Ann smiles, holds herself around the waist. "Thanks."

She's beautiful, he thinks, now that he's up close. Her eyes are blue, the color of the electricity that shoot from his hands. He likes the way the lights shine over her face and her smile makes him think of confetti. "Your son?" he asks.

"Yes." Her smile is a little brighter at the thought of her little boy.

He claps wildly on the way down and back up. Zelda waves. "He seems to be having fun."

"Oh yeah," she answers. "I don't think I'll be able to get him down tonight."

"More, more!" Noah squeals when it comes back down.

"Sure," Gabriel says.

"Oh no," Mary Ann replies. "We couldn't."

"There's no one else in line."

Zelda rolls her eyes. "Oh come one Mary Ann, little man is having fun. Take us up to the top my good sir!" Noah claps in agreement, though all he understands is 'top'.

"Is that all right, miss?" Gabriel asks.

"Fine, but afterwards we should-"

"Yay!" Zelda says to get Noah going. Gabriel starts the machine again.

"That's very nice of you," Mary Ann says. "We don't get to go out that often," she quietly admits. She hopes that maybe this will be his first memory. The spinning of the wheel, the sounds of the games and smell of pop-corn.

Gabriel shudders suddenly. He thinks that the image has worn off, he's back to his normal form, but Mary doesn't seem to notice, she doesn't run away. "Dad here tonight?" he asks. She shouldn't think anything of it, there's nothing wrong with just polite small talk.

She shakes her head and tightens up. "No, no he's dead." She said it quickly and abandons the notion.

But Gabriel knows better; his body tingled. The father is alive. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

He's stepped over the line; she won't say anything else to him now. But he's fine for now, just happy to be able to talk to her for a minute, seeing the lights gleam across her face. He brings the ride back down. Zelda undoes the seating, carries Noah down and passes him over to his mother.

"Did you have fun?" Mary asks. He giggles and gives her a sloppy kiss.

"You can see the whole place from up there, almost see to town."

Mary hugs her son almost tightly. "Now, what do you say to the nice man?"

"More?"

She laughs. "No. We say thank you."

He leans over to try and touch the nice man on the hand who gave him an extra ride. Mary obliges a bit, letting her son just barely touch Gabriel's finger. "You," he says, he can't quite pronounce 'th' yet.

Another tingle, but this time it's not about the truth or his appearance. He sees the life of the little boy; the first steps, how happy he feels with Mary. His favorite toy is a stuffed kitty, he loves the color yellow. Gabriel pulls back.

"Thank you," Mary says for her son. "Who's ready for the walk to the car?"

Noah is still excited. Zelda unfolds the stroller, the toddler is loaded up. "Be sure to come back and visit us," Gabriel says, leaning against the frame.

"Maybe," she says.

They walk away. When they are out of sight he changes back.

***

They had to wait half an hour before 'Mary Ann Moffett' is called back. She changes into a paper gown. Zelda sits in the corner by the desk and snatches the free condoms from the jar that sits by the edge; she stuffs as many as she can into her purse.

The technician comes in, with a bright smile. Elle hasn't smiled in four days. "All right, Ms. Moffett, let's take a look."

She puts a sheet over Elle's legs. It's humiliating, someone applying cold gel, then fiddling around 'down there'. Zelda giggles at the faces Mary Ann makes, then holds her hand. The technician fishes around until she finds what she's looking for.

"Here we go." She brings the screen up. "Looks like you're at about ten weeks."

"You're sure?" Mary Ann says. The technician nods.

"It looks like a bean," Zelda says.

There is a quick fluttering sound coming from the machine. "Is that the heart beat?" Elle asks.

"Yup. Looks good so far." She presses a button that freezes the image.

Elle looks away. "It's okay, Mary." Zelda squeezes her shoulder. "It'll be okay."

"We can have someone speak to you about all your options if you like," the technician explains. "I'll get you cleaned up and-"

"Can I come back later?" Elle asks. "Just, can I talk to someone later?"

"Of course."

She's cleaned, she changes back. The technician leaves for a minute. Elle curls up on the table, pulling her knees close to her chest. She doesn't feel like throwing up anymore, but she doesn't feel much better. "What should I do?" she asks.

"Whatever you want, sweetie." Zelda rubs her back, kisses her the top of her head. "No one's gonna think badly of you whatever you pick. I promise."

Elle nods, hugs herself around the knees. Zelda holds her close.


End file.
